With the LGBTQ+/GSRM Community
Welcome back, dear readers! At the beginning of this month, we announced that JustConscientia would be celebrating August as Mental Health Awareness Month, and we that had a special project coming up.
Each week of this month, we will be talking to young people of different groups, to understand their perspectives on mental health. During the first week we talked to several young men and boys to find out what they think of mental healthcare for men, stereotypes and what role they play in men's upbringing, and even more. This week, we're talking to people who identify as members of the LGBTQ+/ GSRM community, for their answers to our questions on mental health. All respondents have been marked anonymous to protect their privacy.
[Disclaimer: Since we are a youth-run initiative based in India, our respondents are also young people from India. This project is in no way intended to be an ultimatum for young people's views on mental health and healthcare. We in no way intend to harm any individuals or groups, and all responses have been used anonymously, with the respondents' consent.]
Before we start, we would like to clarify the meaning of certain terms used in this article:
LGBTQ+ = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Plus. Here, the plus (+) denotes other aspects of the community.
GSRM = Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities.
So without further ado, let's get into this month's second interview, on mental health in the LGBTQ+/ GSRM community.
JC: Has your mental health ever been impacted due to your identity?
Here, 75% of respondents said yes, their mental health has been affected by their identity. 25% disagreed.
JC: How do you thing being a part of the LGBTQ+/GSRM community has impacted your mental health?
"At first, being GSRM negatively impacted my mental health but now it positively impacts it. It was difficult to accept myself but once I did, things have only gone uphill."
"My identity and the fact that I haven't come out to my family or therapist isn't the only or even the largest factor impacting my mental health. It is, however, a notable undercurrent common to all the other factors since I'm constantly anxious about accidentally outing myself"
"Since heteronormativity is so engrained in society, finding out I was lesbian affected my mental health as I was extremely anxious. I only knew of LGBTQ+ people through Percy Jackson [a popular middle-grade book series, revered for its diversity and inclusivity, written by author Rick Riordan.]"
JC: Many people in the LGBTQ+/GSRM community go through an identity struggle. Has such affected your mental wellbeing in any way? If yes, then how?
"Before finding a label that fit my identity, I often found myself confused and conflicted regarding my attraction to more than one gender, as I hadn’t seen it expressed much in people around me. I frequently thought that it wasn’t normal, and that I wasn’t normal, which created a huge amount of anxiety, and led to a lot of issues regarding self-acceptance."
"Yes. Before coming in terms with my sexuality I never understood why I didn't really like the opposite gender. My friends would discuss about the opposite gender but I could never relate to them. This would make me exhausted.
Fortunately one day on the internet I came to know that there are other sexualities and not just straight people. I felt relieved. I now finally understood myself."
JC: Has stereotyping about your identity affected you, and your mental health in any way?
"Stereotyping has affected my mental health. At first, I was very comfortable with my identity, but more and more stereotypes started popping up and they made me feel like I didn't truly 'belong' within my community. I felt like I was being forced to fit inside a box, and stopped identifying with the label altogether- which is something that has made me feel more happy and comfortable with myself."
JC: Do you believe labels are required in the community?
100% of respondents said no, people should feel comfortable however they identify.
JC: How do you feel about the ignorance and hatred within the community? For example, transphobia, biphobia, and aphobia are significant issues.
"I believe that, encouraging people to “live and let live”, within the community. Everyone is entitled to their own identity, and it is not anyone else’s place to tell a person whether their identity is valid or not."
"I find it extremely upsetting. The people within the community have gone through what you have. They understand what you’re going through. And for them to be ignorant and hateful makes me a little hopeless about acceptance from the larger society."
JC: How did your family react if and when they learnt about your identity? How did their reaction impact you?
"My mom at first was uncomfortable with it, but she has slowly come to terms with my identity! A real stepping stone for me was when she asked me (a girl) what girls I had crushes on! My dad has been accepting from the start, but there have been some ups and downs although I'm sure he (and my mom) are learning as I am. Being accepted by them did mean a lot to me."
JC: What are somethings that have helped you accept yourself and your identity?
"I would definitely say having adequate representation helped me accept myself. Having a strong support system of friends did too."
"The most [positively] impactful was talking to other people from the community. Having conversations with them about their experiences and just being friends with them, people who understand exactly what you’re talking about.
Reading books and listening to music referring to the community helped a lot. Simply reading comments under songs by queer artists made me love who I am a little bit more.
I also found that it helped to become informed and familiar with the community and its different aspects and sub parts. When I understood them and got comfortable with them completely it was easier to become comfortable with it on a more personal level."
Respondents agreed that a strong support system- especially of allied, accepting friends, as well as media representation in popular culture and in the world around them.
JC: Many consider being cishet (cisgender and heterosexual) the default in society. What are your thoughts on this?
"I absolutely hate this conditioning. Nothing should be the default. We're all individuals who have differences, defaults make things unfair and prejudiced."
"We really need to get rid of this mindset. Today people go through conflict and anxiety, some battle depression, many get bullied, some get kicked out of their houses, because they are seen as abnormal and bad. If you are not cishet you need to be ‘fixed’. You are not what is expected and so you are not acceptable.
These thoughts cause a lot of trauma. They make us go through a whole process that is more strenuous than it should be, of self discovery, acceptance and then acceptance from everyone else. If being cishet wasn’t the default it would be easier to accept yourself. Coming out wouldn’t be necessary. There wouldn’t be as many sleepless nights full of thoughts about how to explain to people that you are different. Because you wouldn’t be different."
JC: Are there things that cishet people have said that have made you uncomfortable in your identity? (e.g. "it's just a phase", "it's not normal" etc).
[T/W: Mention of certain slurs.]
I have been called a d*ke before. That too, by a gay man.
“You like a boy you’re not bisexual” or “You can’t possibly be bisexual, you like boys too much.”
"Wow, OMG, I've never seen anyone like you."
JC: Many times, members of the community are told to "understand the time they belong to" when speaking to elderly/middle aged people who are homophobic, or do not understand what being part of the community means.
Do you think being gentle towards their ignorance and/or lack of awareness, and helping them understand how they are regressive is important? Should LGBTQ+/ GSRM people be expected to be understanding about such?
"I do not believe anybody is obligated to do anything. Sometimes, this ignorance runs deep and is very powerful, and if someone is in a situation like that I would not urge them to be gentle. Be selfish, I say. If you would like to educate people that's a wonderful thing, but some people are past that point and unwilling to change their mindset. Be cautious and do what's best for you."
"Everybody needs to be understanding and gentle when communicating or else the point is lost.
People from the older generations definitely won't understand so easily, for one society was extremely homophobic in their time. People were scared to death to come out. Back then, people didn't know much about this community or these identities. I know it's annoying when the elderly say such things, but here's where we play our part. We educate them. We make them understand. We spread love and acceptance."
JC: What can cishet people do to help normalise the LGBTQ+/GSRM community?
Firstly, they can educate themselves. Learn about the community, what life is like for them. The problems they face, the prejudice, what everyday life is like. Speak up for the people who can’t and when met with stereotypes state the facts. Use gender neutral terms (they/them). Do not assume that people are cishet and when in doubt ask.
Very importantly, people in the media should represent more of the community more often. It should be accurate representation, not full of stereotypes. Parents should not shy away from discussing different sexualities and genders with their children. Instead they should have open conversations about how it’s ok to be who you are.
JC: And finally, do you have any advice for individuals in the community that are currently struggling with their mental health?
"You are valid and no one can tell you otherwise. It takes time to figure out your identity and if you dont like labels that's completely okay. Be true to yourself."
"It's okay. Take your time to figure yourself out. If there's anyone who doesn't support you in your journey of figuring yourself out, trust me- you're better off without them. It will get better no matter how tough things seem right now. Be kind to everyone."
And on that note, we at JustConscientia would like to remind everyone that no matter how tough, how hard times may seem- pandemic or not, it does and will get better. Spread love, acceptance, and positivity, always!
And remember, we are always with you.
-JustConscientia Team.
Survey created by the JC team and compiled by Devina.
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